By Monica Brown


Thobela – means “How are you?” which is a formal way of greeting someone in Sepedi.

What is the history of Pedi language?

Although the Pedi originated from the Bakgatla and were of Sotho origin, their inter-marriage with other tribes by defeating them, ended up in the application of many other words in the Pedi language and customs which are not of Sotho origin, but which are akin to the Venda and Lovedu and the Karanga from Zimbabwe.

Yes, greetings out of the way.Today we looking at social media and romantic relationships in particular. Yes, I know you asking why this topic.Social media nowadays plays a very important role in our lives. Next time you eat out, watch as couples sit together at a table. Chances are, both of them will on their device instead of talking to each other.

Social media has allowed us to be more aware and engaged in the lives of those we care about, including our partners. We can more readily communicate with them and we can see their daily happenings and feel more connected. However, social media can impact mental health and relationships by making people feel upset with what they see or what a partner chooses to share.

Social media has also made it possible for us to share our relationship with the world. This can be positive or negative, too. Sharing too much on social media can lessen intimacy in a relationship, and sharing too little can cause others to question the authenticity of it.

Although social media has many positive benefits, it has the potential to wreak havoc on a relationship.

Using social media can be beneficial to relationships, especially long-distance ones. It can also assist people in forging new friendships, promote the desire to stay in touch with old friends, and keep couples connected.

Can social media relationships exist?

Romantic bonds can begin through social media, but they can also be damaged by it. Whether it’s a “like” on a photo or one person is talking to other people, it’s easy to become jealous of our partner’s experiences online.

Why does social media destroy relationships?

Social media ruins relationships as it gives birth to insecurities, which gradually take over. One small comment or like from someone else can lead to serious problems over the years. For instance, your partner is actively chatting or interacting with someone on a social media platform.Excessive social media usage acts as a barrier to quality communication, which leaves partners feeling ignored or unimportant. Many of us have experienced sharing a significant story with someone and they continue scrolling on their phone and not even listening to you.

How does social media cause jealousy in relationships?

Social media has been proven to increase feelings of envy and resentment towards friends, family, colleagues, and even romantic partners.

How does technology affect romantic relationships?

Technology can have a negative impact on the relationship by being a big distraction for either party. Instead of having important conversations, one or both partners are more focused on their phones and checking social media. Lastly, heavy use of technology can lead to negative mental health outcomes.

Signs Social Media Is Affecting Your Relationship

Hopefully, social media is impacting your relationship positively (or not at all). But if you are like most couples, social media may be impacting your relationship in a negative way. If so, it is important to recognise the signs early so you can take action before too much damage has been done.

Here are some signs that social media is affecting your relationship:

  • Decreased quality time together (particularly in the evenings, which should be time for the two of you to reconnect at the end of the day)
  • A feeling of distance or disconnect
  • Learning about important events in your partner’s life through social media instead of directly from them
  • Obsessively checking your partner’s social media to make sure they are not doing something you disapprove of
  • An increase in conflict regarding social media use, posts, etc.
  • Secrecy between the two of you regarding your social media accounts and posts
  • Negative body image issues due to comparisons or unrealistic standards on social media

How can you protect your marriage or relationship from social media?

Make time for face-to-face conversation. Focusing on your phone, television, Facebook, etc. takes away from focusing on each other. While you can use media to communicate with your spouse, there’s no substitute for face-to-face conversation.

Ask each other about how media use affects your relationship.You may need to take a break from media. Invest that time elsewhere.

Establish media-free zones.Too much of anything can be a bad thing. Decide together if certain times or places in your home (like the bedroom) are off-limits for media use. Hold each other accountable.

Final Thoughts

I have ended many relationships in my lifetime because of social media. I can remember that one of my main problems was that my partners ended up liking and commenting on things that was completely against what I stood for and also engaged in online relationships with ladies.Nevertheless when all ended and they tried to pursue those ladies in reality, it was impossible as most people online are not real people, meaning they do not represent themselves in a true manner online.The online community are plagued by scammers, cat fishers and a lot of very dark and bad people that stop at nothing to destroy and steal from anyone.

Micro-cheating on social media can cause jealousy and distrust in relationships.

Micro-cheating is a type of emotional infidelity that doesn’t include exchanging any fluids, but involves subtle behaviours on social media that may hint one is not fully committed to his or her current relationship.

Anyone with a social media presence is probably guilty of “stalking” friends, acquaintances and partners and even ex partners from time to time. While we constantly combing through one’s partner’s Facebook feed can lead to feelings of jealousy and suspicion with every post. Increase usage of social media sites can lead to higher levels of jealousy, especially regarding activities involving one’s partner or ex partner.

Social media does more than foster suspicion between partners, but can also be used to falsely showing off a failing relationship as happy and successful. The problem is that posts never show what’s actually going on behind the screen. Such relationships, while probably on their last leg, are kept on life support through the use of frequent lovey lovey posts, leading to possessive partners and unhealthy breakups.

Social media is all about appearances. Letting oneself focus on his or her relationship without letting social media influence how one views his or her love life or trusts his or her partner will allow one to evaluate his or her own feelings. There is no need to compare them to an unrealistic portrayal of everyone else’s lives.

I love social media and it is hard to ignore the unwanted attention that we receive online.

I have learned the hard way that maintaining trusting relationships has become much more difficult with the prevalence of social media.

If you had a similar experience, do not hesitate to share.We all can just learn from each other.I know for sure that I was not alone in dealing with micro- cheating issues.

Monica Brown, Changemaker, Activist And Social Entrepreneur

Article Reproduced with Permission from Monica Brown

To view the original article by Monica Brown on LinkedIn visit here

We hope you enjoyed the article, there will be more regular weekly articles from Monica Brown coming soon.